New DNA Service Makes Dates -- Via Dogs!

Ever notice how a couple sometimes resemble the family pet? A new startup company believes that this is the secret to dating success, and that DNA typing is a way to guarantee romantic bliss.

Date My Dog's DNA will test both you and your dog's DNA and then apply proprietary computer algorithms to find your perfect match. Dogless individuals can also be typed, though they will only be matched with someone who has registered their dog in the service.

Why should this work? According to President and CEO Jack Russell, our choice of dog is driven by fundamental personality traits. By examining the DNA, traits can be matched between dog and human. "While it is useful for purebred canines, the real power comes with mixed breeds, as you may not realize which tendencies you are keying in to", says Russell. "Just imagine", he continues, "all the painful breakups due to date-dog incompatibilities; we believe we can prevent most of these".

Can the technology be put to other uses? Vice President for Marketing K. Charles Cavalier suggests that once pre-conception DNA screening becomes routine, they plan to move into this area. Would this be eugenics hidden behind a wagging tail? Replies Cavalier: "We think each couple will choose very differently. For example, if you have two border collies you might enjoy a bright but hyperactive child. On the other hand, if you have a bloodhound you might prefer a quiet, contemplative child who likes to observe the world." Continues Cavalier "We think parent-child bonding is critical to a child's mental and social development. You've already bonded with your dog; why not leverage that bond into a better one with your child?"

Seed funding for the company has been provided by the Kaltnassnase Fund.